K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i think i have herpe
just one?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
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Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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