just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize