I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Congratulations! We have a period
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
