I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
