I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
