it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
