I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
