I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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