Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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