then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize