Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
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i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
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Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
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