i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
