VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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