There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
