hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i wish my penis had a tongue
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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