That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
