I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
