I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
