This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Randomize
