Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
