We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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