Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
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