Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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