you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
