Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
