so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
