now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
