I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
