I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
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My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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