I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
