threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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