He told me they were just razor bumps!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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