we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
