He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
