why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Tornado booty call.. dedication
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
