Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize