Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
