i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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