Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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