I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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