me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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