a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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