His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
