I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize