Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
of course. lets lasso hookers.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
