new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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