I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
