that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
