I'm really into asian looking animals
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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