Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
