You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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