I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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