So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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