You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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